a nice reading from Adam Khoo blog ( http://www.adam-khoo.com , fyi this guy made his fortune via the so-called "teaching ppl how to inspire and make the most out of themselves" seminars, quite kool)
I found out that the reason I was not happy was because of the way I defined happiness to myself. You see, all of us set up mental ‘rules’ on when we should or should not be happy. I discovered that my definition for happiness was ‘when everything goes my way and when I have no problems…then I will be happy’. No wonder I was not happy!!! Because, everytime I solved a problem or achieved a goal, another problem will surface or something will not go as I expected (this is life!), then I will be unhappy AGAIN! I figured that if I continued to hold on to this crazy definition, then I will never be happy for very long in my whole life.
Why? Because there will NEVER come a time when there are no problems to solve. There will never be a day when everything goes exacty the way we planned. Many people think that when they get a promotion, increase their income or build a business, they will have less problems. In fact, the more successful you get, the more and the bigger the problems will get! The only people with no problems are the ones who are buried 6 feet underground!
What’s the point in having everything if you are not happy? It’s INSANE! So, this is when I DECIDED that I would CHANGE my definition for happiness. I told myself that I must give myself the permission to be happy. From that day of enlightenment, I decided that my definition of happiness would be ‘ as long as I give my best and act according to my values…I will be happy…no matter what the outcome!’ The amazing thing is that the moment I made that decision, I immediately felt lighter and found myself smiling and laughing! Many of us wake up on certain days feeling bad for no good reason right? So, I told myself, ‘Why not feel good everyday for no good reason?’a usual comment from my side: lua` ti`nh. that word has many shades of meaning for me. and for this case it means "nice". those are what ppl all knew it. i knew it. but i didn't really think 'bout it that much. (or i did, but i didn't find any solution yet)
someone called me yesterday to "ask if you're OK or not" don't know why, at first i replied in such a polite and calm way. i felt strange. but then, as expected, lost my temper when i thought 'bout something related to that one. and I just SMS-ed her to shout those stuffs. funny.
we should have our own definition of "happiness". and i found this exactly the same as what I kept in my mind
...I was also afraid that if I became happy and contented, I would become complacent
my friend used to tell me that they felt peaceful reading my blogs (those days), when i talk cock 'bout my family, how funny it is, how warm i felt. or how i found it nice when looking at some kute smiling baby out there in the street. and now, look at this blog, just full of the $-related thoughts.